ha, fooled you, i’m happy!

Standing at the stove watching the progress of two over easy eggs cook just the way I like them, broken yolks soft and just barely firm, I feel happy. Happy for walking an entire hour in the rain on the trail with Nora this morning and for having warm nourishing food right now. Happy anticipating a day of relaxed and easy packing, happy for making space and time for feeling the fun in this. I’m even happy thinking of the amazing sight out my kitchen window yesterday, of an eagle sitting smack dab in the center of the small circle of back yard grass, lifting its enormous wings and taking off as soon as my gaze fully focused on her.

I went out to find a very large partially eaten dead rabbit in that spot. The message that has come to me from this sighting feels powerful. Eagle Symbolism…   by Presley Love   “Eagle totem is the symbol of freedom with powerful symbolic meaning of timing, victory and spiritual quest… helping you to discover your personal power and the route to the destiny of your choosing….” I think perhaps the eagle eating the rabbit represents a victory of transmuting the fear of making this choice to forge ahead with my life in the way I feel destined to. Dear rabbit, oh attractor of fears, spent the summer feasting on the rich grasses of home, making ready for what would come. It is a shamanic tradition that something gets transmuted energetically when one animal eats another. Eagle eating rabbit transmutes fear with vision.

Fully claiming the power to be exactly where I am in my life is, simply, happy.

I was joking with my daughter Molly yesterday during a skype call that we needed to come up with a name for an expression she has that I just love. I saw it on her face in a photo that her boyfriend took of her a few months ago, and then saw it again on a photo I found of her yesterday while packing when she was just nine years old. I knew the expression had something to do with happy, but that there was something else there too…

Molly happy girl Molly happy woman

It came to me later in the day. I wrote to her that I thought the name of the expression should be, “Ha, fooled you, I’m happy!” Thankfully she wrote right back that she liked it! Because there could have been some resistance to the notion that happiness for her is not completely obvious. Fact is, my daughter and I share a sensitivity that allows us to share depths of sadness with each other more readily that depths of happiness. So it is no small thing to recognize and celebrate where this thing called ‘happy’ appears.

It is also no coincidence that Molly’s first tattoo (yes, she does have a few) is of a condor on her left wrist. The power of this bird is no stranger to her and I am in awe of how she continues to honor the path of her own destiny, even if that vision is obscured to her at times.  Oh, did I mention that she currently lives in Peru?

Helping each other come to an awareness of vision and power that can be a seat for happiness is such a gift.  No need to fool anyone anymore!

4 thoughts on “ha, fooled you, i’m happy!

  1. Love it 🙂 And by the way – I’m very happy too. These past few months have been amazing. Dad’s happy too – is on his way over to Hobart for a home game and is going to buy a supply of butternut and acorn squash at his favorite stand on route 20 on his way home. We have dinner at the Fish and Game Club tonight. Making fun stuff in the studio. Had a great time with Ron and Jan Kloster. Last time we saw them, you were a toddler and I was pregnant with Rob! Was fun showing them current photos of you and Rob and your families. We have kept in touch all these years with Christmas cards and letters. We parted feeling very happy about our mutually good lives and families – and our serendipity time together. Much love, Mom


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