purification

I stopped making fires a few weeks ago when there was finally a hint of spring warming.  Then the cold returned, and stayed.  After weeks of denying that it was still winter, after actually closing the flue and cleaning out the ashes in the fireplace as a way of coaxing spring into the house, I finally broke down and built a fire this morning.  It felt different.  The gap between the last fire and this one came into focus, and I could clearly acknowledge the fire that has been burning in me these past weeks.  It is an emotional fire for sure, combined with my Aries fire of wanting to initiate new growth.  When out of control, this fire has resulted in cleansing tears a few times, and in this I have felt the surety that some form of purification is taking place…

It isn’t just the warmth that has been so important in this ritual of building fires all these years, but the spirit of purification that comes with the burning and transformation of dead things.  It is symbolized in the burning of a candle that not only lights but can combust and cleanse impurities in the air.   Or a streak of lightning in the sky that flashes and slashes through density that needs to clear.  The energy of burning destroys and at the same time transforms.  How do we do this safely and with intention to heal?  How do we allow what needs to happen…happen?

I think about all the ways I have been aware of purification in the past few weeks, moving furniture and purging ‘stuff’, in yoga practice and studies, in the work of consciously clearing energetic imprints and old programming emotionally, and in the simple body cleansing practice of juicing.  I haven’t used the juicer in a while and pull it out, rummage around the fruit and vegetable bins and come up with a pile of things that are sure to please.

P1110976

I set a tall 12 oz. glass under the spout and set the machine in motion with its loud characteristic whir.  I have no idea whether I have cut up enough to fill the glass.  There is green apple, cucumber, beet, celery, and carrot.  I’ll cut up more if I need to.  The machine is happy to be fed after all this time, and the juice flows easily into the glass.  Just as the last piece is put into the funnel, I notice the glass is actually full! It was a perfect fit.  The color is soft glowing orange, like the fire….

P1110980

even a bit reminiscent of the papaya from the warmth of St. John two months ago, of second chakra passion, and of the promise of a spring flower.  This is a sweet juice with more than a typical proportion of sweet root vegetable.  It is a perfect breakfast drink. There is purification in the feeling of fresh, clean and new.  Looking into the foam on top I see snow transformed to the color of warmth and wonder how many more fires I will need to make before it is really spring…

P1110981