snow white

I’m looking out at the breaking dawn and see the world has become white once again. Snow White are the words that come to me. The remains of last week’s storm, dirty and mud spattered from days of salt and thaw is completely enshrouded in the most lovely coating of new snow which perfectly covers everything with exactly the same blanket. The sameness of the accumulation that appears on everything, in effect, renders a scene of equanimity in such a profound way. All the differences and contrasts are gone. Everything is the same and everything has the same value….

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What comes next is the feeling of the words of Drunvalo Melchizedek in his book entitled “The Mayan Ouroboros” that has stayed with me since reading them several days ago. In this book he crafts a story for us of the meaning behind the end of the Mayan calendar, December 21, 2012, and in Chapter 3 entitled The Heart of the Maya he begins with this:

  “The depth of the heart of the Maya can be said in words, but it can only be lived and experienced to know the meaning and understanding. Words are from the brain, but what we need to remember has nothing to do with the brain, it has to do with the human heart.
      I will use words, for they are all we have at this moment. I could say that within the heart is a sacred space where creation takes place, and that living within this sacred space changes one’s relationship to all of nature and to the Universe.
      The brain has an ego that sees itself as both separate from reality and as the most important part of reality. But within the human heart, one Is not separate from the reality; rather, he or she becomes One with it. There is no separation, and all parts are equal. The Maya speak about this constantly, how no human being is greater than any other. We are all the same and of same value.
      As you can see, words may describe what we are talking about, but you cannot taste this any other way without actually entering into the sacred space of the heart and feeling and becoming one with this ancient vibration. I am limited by words, so there is nothing I can do but choose my words carefully.”

I love the simple acknowledgement of the limitation of words to describe matters of the heart and that it is paired with this particular expression of equanimity. Equanimity here is not just about human beings treating each other with respect and compassion, it is about feeling the truth of non-separation, and the support of one’s own heart in one’s own body, whatever that looks or feels like for each individual. Practicing equanimity in a culture that pairs individuality with certain standards or measures of success can be challenging. So reminders like the feeling of this morning’s blanket of snow white having the power to awaken the heart to the truth in relationship to nature and Universe is so very welcome…

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And what about Snow White? Reflecting on the mythical messages embedded in the famous fairy tale, it is easy to make the connection to the thread that is weaving through this morning. On one level, it is a story that speaks to a child’s fears about parental abandonment and adult anxieties about aging and loss. On another level it is simply about how humans relate to their natural world. Are we of it, moving in concert with it, or moving in willful manipulation beyond it? And then I wonder if equanimity isn’t, just simply, the ability of any human heart to know and accept that it is receiving exactly the same amount of ‘snow white’ that every other human heart is receiving, and that it is deserved and it is enough…

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night vision

I’ve just had a phone call from a dear friend telling me he is in the hospital and facing serious complications due to a still unidentified infection. I don’t know what to say, and feel a helplessness, that core deep wish to make it all better and knowing I can’t. I feebly offer my love instead and upon hanging up, turn my focus inward to search for and identify something, anything, that I can send him energetically through prayer. It feels like rooting around in the dark and I need my night vision now. The kind of vision that can come in meditation and dreams. And then, as if by cue, I see a swooping figure through my window in the darkening end of the day sky. It is a huge wingspan, one I’ve never seen this close to the house and the bird it belongs to is now sitting silently on a branch with nothing between me and it except the pane of glass. At first I think it is a hawk, but with a swift swivel of the head  I see it is a beautiful barred owl, its soft form so still as to be camouflaged in the tangle of branches it is silhouetted against. Not content with simply observing this vision from inside, I head out with my camera to meet this owl face to face….

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and we stare at each other for what seems like forever before his head swivels back to the scene in front of him.

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I have been given something by transmission and even if I can’t see or know what it is I can feel the truth of it and know I can share this ‘voice’ with my friend and offer it to him, silently, too.  I can now feel the space created in a density and tangle of feelings,  which allows for the much needed light to come in…

Several days later I wake from a dream of returning ‘home’ after having been away for awhile.  I am accompanied by a dog and a horse.  I get out of the car and the dog runs ahead to the front door and I take the lead of the beautiful white horse to walk up the path together.  But instead of moving forward, I lay down on the ground in the horse’s path.  The horse steps over me and stops, as if to create the protection of a womb over me.  And then bends its head and begins to shower me with kisses!  Smile.  My night vision is offering me an experience of surrender in the sweetest possible way.  I see the horse as the light that makes healing possible, and no matter how I might intend to intervene or intersect with its path, consciously or unconsciously, it will still simply be the healing light that it is and find its own sweet way home…