Ben and I are riding around the empty parking lot of the school down the road. It is a beautiful weekend day and this is part of our ritual ‘ride around the block’ that we do on the weekend when the school parking lots and roads are empty. We ride round and round the looping pavement and I am thinking, wow, been here before, sooooo many times, same place, same circuit, same ride, same feeling and then realize it is actually a completely new experience, in this moment, at the same time….
I am immediately transported back to yoga class last week, when, during a routine warm up exercise that I have done a thousand times, my teacher Patty clearly and convincingly shares that “you have absolutely NEVER done this before” and then invites us to consider where our mind gets caught in the thinking that we have….! I do realize how easy it is to get caught in the thinking that I am not free to open to this awareness, of all the ways I create distractions and diversions to being in this awareness of something being completely new no matter what. And then I come back now to me and Ben, and the joy of riding round and round in a circle as we have done a thousand times, and yet with each glance and each revolution of the bicycle wheels, also noting the invitation to feel the exhilaration of the breeze and the sun and the brightness of the sky in that particular moment brushing past us….
The next day I am standing at my kitchen window and looking up at the sky like I have done a thousand times. Riveted right now by the feeling of newness and wonder in what I see…
It is simply clouds in the sky, but there is something about where they are low in the sky at the edge of the earth with blue sky above (as if they are literally connected to the earth now and not really ‘in’ the sky), the density of the formation, and the quality of light that is emerging from behind that makes is feel like I am experiencing something completely new. And then walking home the other day, stopping to gaze at the sky once again, the clouds eerily familiar in the location, density, and quality of light coming from behind once again.
And what I acknowledge is the feeling of something familiar and completely new at the same time and the infinite layers of context that allow us to rest in this awareness. I recognize that experiencing something completely new is not about knowing the history but about feeling where the sensation of experience lives in me and the ability to follow where that sensation takes me!
Writing this blog post is often a result of following where I go (smile) and today is no exception. And in doing so today I laugh as I find photos I have completely forgotten about in the very same folder I have placed these new photos of the clouds…!
I remember now, sitting in the parking lot where I see these particular clouds, feeling the same sensation in my body, the power contained in an impending storm, awe of the dark living in the light and the light coming through the dark. And then following this sensation to where I am now to the completely new perspective of how the power of the ‘storm in the sky’ is now absolutely and literally connected to Mother Earth as if they are one and the same, that it’s all the same source after all, and then following the sensation to the calm that comes in allowing myself to simply be a witness to something so much bigger than me, completely unknown, completely new, while feeling so clearly where this lives in me too….