I have been making the same meal three days in a row. This is not like ‘me’. I usually am very open to variety and a way of seeing something new in front of me. Not that I am complaining, it is actually a really delicious meal. Sautéed mushrooms in olive oil with lots of minced garlic, then a handful of canned plum tomatoes broken up by hand and squeezed into the mixture. I let it all simmer until the house smells like an Italian trattoria. Then add some sort of chopped fresh green vegetable, asparagus or spinach or broccoli, or even frozen peas, which all need just a few minutes to cook in the simmering sauce. I heat a few slices of prepared polenta (the kind that comes in a roll that I find at Trader Joes, grilled with just a tad of olive oil in my trusty cast iron pan that has become virtually non stick after so many years of dedicated use. The plate is assembled….

and it is divine. Just the right amount of food, I feel just full but not too full. Three days in a row, and one day, I even make it for both lunch AND dinner! I feel like I am on automatic pilot and though there is a minor discomfort in deviating from my usual way, I do thoroughly enjoy eating every bite of every dish prepared.

I think about the repetitive energy inherent in making this meal over and over as I now feel a different kind of full; so full that even drinking a glass of water is uncomfortable. I realize that my ‘plate’ of life has been piled high with so many wonderful things for a long time now, and no matter how many times I come to it and devour it with fresh eyes for the joy of discovering and learning something new, eventually I do reach my limit and become ‘full’. It is a signal that it is time for integration and letting what I have taken in fully digest and truly become nourishment. I realize that perhaps this is what making this meal over and over again represents now…the need to just stay with what IS for just a little longer to allow what I have already taken in to literally digest. It becomes a not so obvious, yet necessary form of balance….

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