a bitter pill to swallow

It is only 6:30 in the morning and I am craving bitter and savory.  Usually my one cup of hot black coffee can satisfy this.  But I am actually hungry, and I know eating just fruit this morning, as I have been for the past three months, won’t be enough.  I am resisting making the rice porridge that I know I want.  The pot of leftover brown rice is sitting on the counter beckoning.  It is so simple.  In a small saucepan, I add water to the cooked (organic short grain brown) rice like I would to a risotto, and cook slowly over medium heat until the texture begins to change and become more creamy.  I add some tamari and sometimes a squeeze of lemon, a little more water, keep cooking until the texture is more like hot cereal than rice. There is lots of time to let the mind roam as I am doing this.  I am thinking that the word ‘bitter’ has a negative connotation to it, like in the idiom “a bitter pill to swallow” which refers to a thing that is hard to accept….adding more water to the porridge now and stirring….I have gotten into such a habit of eating only fruit in the morning and feeling great and I think that this porridge might not be good for me or that I won’t feel as good….adding the tamari stir stir….instead of trusting that my body is telling me what it needs today.  Maybe ‘bitter’ is not such a bad thing after all, maybe ‘difficult’ is actually another way to refer to an edge that needs to be experienced in order to fully appreciate both sides.  Then realize that once both sides are acknowledged then a choice needs to be made and there is no point any longer worrying about why I want this breakfast…the porridge is starting to get creamy now, add some more water and oh, daringly, a splash of lime juice too and stir stir….I am remembering all the times I have made this porridge and how much I relish the simplicity of it and how much I enjoy witnessing transformation.  Perhaps it is just simply witnessing transformation that I am craving right now.  Perhaps the bitter pill I am trying to swallow is simply my resistance to change in this moment and I need a little help…honoring that brown rice and water is the foundation of a macrobiotic diet rooted in the yin-yang principle and uses a rice gruel fast as the first remedy for dis-ease!

It is very creamy looking now, and on tasting I realize it needs more tamari, a little more water, stir stir….

…stirring the pot of my own resistance and watching it transform into acceptance….and then it is done.  I put the lid on the pot to let it sit and cool for a moment….then put the perfect amount into my favorite blue bowl….

…chew slowly…taste gently…grateful….

One thought on “a bitter pill to swallow

  1. Following the wisdom of your body and nourishing your readers at the same time.

    I had some wonderful rice pudding on our vermont overnight. Found at a hidden italian deli. mmmm….

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